12-12-2020

I dreamt about you last night.

We both knew it was a dream. We even said so. But you held me close while I cried, and I swear it felt more real than I deserved after so long missing you.

I cried because it felt so good to be in your arms, even if it was only a dream. You cried because you didn’t want to leave me alone: you knew how hard it is for me, but you didn’t have a choice. 

We cried together and for one beautiful, brief moment I had my dad back. You told me how proud you were of me persevering instead of giving up, how you hear my daily thoughts, how you wish you could do more to comfort me from the other side but the memory of your love will have to suffice.

I love you so much, Dad. I will never stop doing everything I can to make the most of this life you helped me build, even if some days I don’t really want to without you here to keep building with me. 

Just because I can’t hug you doesn’t mean you’re not still here looking out for me the only way you can. All I have to do is open my eyes and see the many ways you’re still here with me in spirit.